


So Wrong, But Feels So Right

by moonlittides



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cheating, Cunnilingus, F/M, Human Elena Gilbert, Love Confessions, Mentions of Damon/Elena, Mentions of Stefan/Caroline, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:59:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlittides/pseuds/moonlittides
Summary: Since waking from the coma a year ago, Elena’s been denying her re-surfacing romantic feelings for Stefan, but since he and Caroline announced their engagement two months ago she can no longer ignore what’s truly in her heart. Before Stefan says, “I do”, Elena decides to tell Stefan she’s still in love with him, but is it too late for them to have their second chance?





	So Wrong, But Feels So Right

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a one-shot I whipped up based on the prompt, "What if I kissed you now?" 
> 
> Some general background info: Elena is human, Stefan is vampire. Elena's relationship with Damon has broken down and she's recently broken up with him. Stefan is engaged to Caroline so he's the cheater in this story. 
> 
> This is essentially a little fantasy of what could've happened if Elena had woken up from the coma during season 7 when the Stefan/Caroline relationship was still developing.

I take a deep breath in to prepare myself. My heart is pounding in my chest so hard that it feels as though my rib cage is going to crack in two. I reach my hand up to knock the door but hesitate and drop it back down my side, doubting myself. I let out a light groan, grit my teeth and quickly rap at the door three times. The second I’ve done it panic swells within me.

“Come in,” a voice calls. 

This is it now, there’s no going back. 

I step into the room and as my eyes fall upon Stefan all breath leaves my body. He’s dressed in a tux and stood at the other side of the room in front of the mirror. He swings around to greet me.

“Elena. Hey.” His soft smile makes my heart flutter. 

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the day wedding planning with Caroline and Bonnie.” 

“I am. I mean–I mean, I was,” I stammer. 

Stefan takes a few steps towards me, his brow furrowed with concern. “Is everything okay? Caroline’s not–?”

“Caroline’s fine,” I interject. I can’t get into that now, because if I do I’ll never go through with it. I’ll never say what I came here to say.

Stefan sighs lightly with relief then a serious expression comes across his face.

“You just missed Damon, he’s gone to make arrangements for what he claims is gonna be the most kick ass bachelor party in the history of the world.” He chuckles lightly and I force a small smile, pretending like I didn’t wait outside the Boarding House for Damon to leave before coming inside. 

The smile drops from Stefan’s face and he looks guilty as though he’s done something wrong by laughing. “Damon told me about you two.” 

I don’t need to ask what Damon told him because I already know, so I simply acknowledge it with a nod. 

“He’s heartbroken.” 

“I know.” 

“I didn’t know things had gotten so bad between you two. I thought you were happy.” 

“So did I,” I reply. 

“So what happened? What changed?” 

“Everything,” I say, finishing with a light scoff. 

“You should’ve come to me. I could’ve helped.”

“He’s your brother, Stefan. I couldn’t put you in the middle like that. Besides, it’s not your problem.”

“I care about both of you. That makes it my problem.”

“It doesn’t matter now. It’s over.”

He sighs. “I know how much Damon loves you, Elena. He doesn’t want to lose you. Everyone goes through rough patches, especially Damon, but you’ll work things out.”

He doesn’t realise how difficult he’s making this. I shake my head, “It’s over.” 

“I don’t believe that. You two have broken up before and you always get back together.” 

“Look, I really don’t want to talk about Damon right now,” I snap with frustration. 

Stefan looks taken aback but then his eyes soften and an empathetic expression comes across his face. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you. For both of you.” 

I nod with gratitude and he adds, “Okay, that’s it, no more Damon talk.” He gestures zipping his mouth closed. “So what do you think of my tux, huh? Damon thinks–” 

“Don’t marry her.” 

The words have left my mouth before I’ve had chance to stop them and although this is what I came here to say, the minute they’re released I wish I could take them back.

Stefan takes a few steps back and looks as though all the wind has been kicked out of him. 

The silence that fills the room swallows me whole and although I know I’ve already ruined everything and should just leave now before I exacerbate things, I remained rooted to the spot, anxiously staring at him, awaiting his response. 

“Is this–? Are you compelled?” 

I shake my head. “I mean it, Stefan. Don’t marry her.”

Stefan is speechless and stares at me open mouthed. After a few moments he lets out a scoff of disbelief, puts his hand to his head and turns his back to me.

“I–I–I don’t know what to say.” 

“I know how unfair it is of me to spring this on you, especially now but I had to say something whilst I had the chance. I couldn’t live with myself if I never told you how I feel.” 

“How you–how you feel?”

I inhale deeply. “I love you, Stefan. I…I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.

“What about Damon?” is all he asks. 

“I love him, of course I do, but…things haven’t been right with us for a long time. They haven’t since I woke up. Being with him… it’s not right. I don’t think it was ever right because deep down I still loved you. You were always the one.”

“Is this why you broke up with him?” 

I nod. “I didn’t expect this to happen. I didn’t know… I… I’d been feeling all of these emotions, but I didn’t understand them and I didn’t realise. But when you told me you were engaged to Caroline it just… the thought of it broke me. I couldn’t bear it. I didn’t want to admit what it meant because I didn’t want to be that person. I didn’t want to ruin everything, to hurt Caroline and Damon and you. I thought I could ignore it and carry on…but I can’t. Being human again…it’s like this fog’s been lifted and I can see everything clearly for the first time in years. And I know now. I know how I feel.”

“Elena, what do you want me to say?” Stefan asks extending his arms out in exasperation. 

“I–I don’t know.” I mumble. 

“Why are you telling me this now? Do you expect me to walk away from Caroline just because you’ve had some epiphany that I’m the one you always loved? Did you forget everything we went through? That you broke up with me and that you broke my heart. You fell in love with Damon and I…I moved on. I love Caroline. I’m marrying Caroline.” 

His words are like a dagger to my heart and the tears sting my eyes immediately. I try to swallow the lump in my throat before I speak but my voice betrays me, revealing the level of devastation I feel.

“I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Stefan, I’m so sorry. I–I–I shouldn’t have said anything. I shouldn’t be here. It’s selfish. After everything we’ve all been through…” I trail off shaking my head, unable to talk anymore. “I’m gonna go. Forget what I said, I just… I’m confused, I’m upset about Damon and I’m messed up and I don’t know what I’m saying.”

My attempt to go back on what I said is pitiful and blatantly a lie, so I stop myself from looking any more pathetic than I already do and head for the door to leave.

Stefan doesn’t say anything more and doesn’t make any attempt to stop me, but when my hand goes to the door knob I freeze and realise I can’t walk away from this. This is my last chance to say everything I need to say and if I leave without saying it, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

I march back towards him and he turns to face me, a surprised expression on his face.

“No, you know what? I’m not walking away this time.” I step right up to him, my eyes fixed on his and say, “I love you, Stefan.”

I hear his breath catch in his throat.

“I’m saying it again, okay? Because I do. And it’s not because of Damon or Caroline or anyone or anything else that I’m saying it. It’s because I do. I love you.” 

Now that I’ve said it once I can’t seem to stop saying it. I’ve been denying it for so long and finally saying it is so liberating and exhilarating. It’s like a ten tonne weight has been lifted from me.

“I know I’m the worst person in the world for doing this, but I…I needed you to know before you made the decision to spend the rest of your life with Caroline. And I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy but I…there’s been these moments between us. I ignored them and passed them off as nothing, but now I think they mean something. I think there’s still something between us and I think deep down a part of you still loves me too.” 

Stefan stares at me so intently I feel I’m going to burst into flames. I can’t read him and have no idea what’s going on his head which only makes me more nervous.

“Am I–Am I right?” 

I move closer to him and he gulps. His eyes drift to my lips and his eyes betray him, giving away his true desires before he’s even spoke. Now I know that my instincts were right. He wants this too. He wants me. Us.

Suddenly it’s as though his conscience catches up to him and he blinks rapidly, walks away and exclaims, “No! No, no, of course you’re not right. Look at me, Elena. Just look at me.” He sweeps his hands across himself. “This is the tux I’m getting married in. Y–you think this changes everything but it doesn’t. You can’t just decide you love me and expect me to walk away from Caroline and everything I’ve built with her. You and I had our chance. We were in love and I thought we were going to be together forever. And now what? You’re saying that none of that matters? You ripped my heart out and now you want to do the same to my brother? To Caroline? No, you chose Damon, and now I’m choosing Caroline.” He’s exasperated, his breathing heavy and his highly emotional response only confirms more how much he still cares for me.

I shake my head. “No. I know you feel something for me. If you didn’t you would’ve already thrown me out of here. If you’re so in love with Caroline and want to spend the rest of your life with her, you wouldn’t even care about what I have to say.” 

“I haven’t thrown you out because you’re my friend and I care about you. I’d never hurt you like that. Or did you forget that too?” 

“So you’re saying you only heard me out because you pity me, is that it?” 

“No, of course that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that no matter what’s happened or is happening now I care about you, Elena. Do you really think I’d just throw you out of here? You just broke up with Damon and you’re upset and you’re confused. I know you don’t really mean any of this.”

I shake my head. It shouldn’t really surprise me that he’s sceptical of what I’m saying since I’ve been so fickle in the past, but I’ve never been this sure of anything in my life. All these years I’ve been torn between Stefan and Damon, but not anymore. I know with certainty that he is the one I love and I need to show him that.

“I do mean it,” I insist. “Do you think me coming here and telling you this is something I did on a whim? Or that breaking up with Damon is something I just decided on the spot? I’ve thought of nothing else for months. I’ve been torturing myself, telling myself the way I feel about you would fade, that I was just jealous because of you and Caroline, that being human again had confused my emotions. But it’s more than that.” 

“Elena, I don’t want to hurt you, but even if you really mean what you’re saying, it doesn’t change anything. I’m marrying Caroline.”

He has said the words loud and clear and yet I still refuse to hear them. It’s as though I’m possessed. Usually my heart rules my head, but on this occasion it has consumed every part of me and left no room for anything else.

“What about if I kissed you right now? Are you telling me that wouldn’t change anything?” I challenge. 

“Elena, don’t do this.” 

I move back towards him until our bodies are mere inches apart. My arrogance and persistence catches us both by surprise. But I know this is right, I can feel it and I refuse to walk away from it. 

“Don’t do what? This?” I run my hand lightly across his chest and feel his heart hammering against my palm.

“Elena…” His voice is a strained, tormented whisper and though he’s shaking his head as though warning me to stop, his eyes and his body reveal the truth about what he wants. 

“You tell me to stop and I’ll stop,” I whisper, slowly leaning into him until our noses are touching.

He closes his eyes and I touch my lips to his lightly. Although his body moves away from me slightly, his lips remain on mine and his pitiful attempt at self-restraint is clear as it takes only a moment for him to step back into me.

When I lean away from his mouth to search his eyes, he looks at me with wonderment and sighs, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Me either,” I reply.

“This can’t be real.”

I take his hand on mine and place his palm flat against my chest. “Feel that? Feel how hard my heart is pounding in my chest? I love you so much, Stefan and that…it’s real. It’s real.”

Shivers reverberate up my spine at the intensity of his eyes on mine and power of my own words. His lip trembles, a small breath leaves him and all at once his body crashes into mine, our lips finding each other in an entirely different kind of kiss.

It’s just as desperate and ridden with emotion as the first, but fuelled with a ravenous passion and need that makes me feel as though my entire being is on fire.

We frantically grasp at each other, the kiss intensifying, his hot tongue massaging mine at just the right pressure and speed. God, I didn’t realise just how much I needed this, how long I’ve craved it. With this one kiss it’s as though everything has been erased - all that fear and doubt, self-loathing and bitterness - it’s gone.

Groans escape from the base of our throats and as my fingers wind their way into his hair, I feel his hands slide from my waist down to my ass to pull me in closer to him.

I’m so hot, I can already feel how sticky my body is with sweat and suddenly the layers of clothing that separate us make me unbelievably frustrated. Before I’ve even realised it, my hands are working away at his tie, aggressively trying to loosen it, before making their way to the buttons of his shirt. Meanwhile his hands glide the zip at the back of my dress down until it pools at my ankles. All the while, our kiss remains unbroken and grows more frantic.

When I’m standing in just my underwear he moves from my mouth to lick my neck, trailing soft moist kisses across my collarbones, causing electricity to shoot through my body.

Undoing the last of the buttons on his shirt, I shed him of it and can’t resist tracing my hands all over his torso. Even when we were together I never stopped being in awe of his physique but now I realise how much I took it for granted. He is perfect. So handsome. So sexy. No man alive could ever arouse or excite me the way he does.

When Damon and I had sex I convinced myself it was the same, but it wasn’t. It was all about the physical and never the emotional. But with Stefan, it’s a combination of the two, making the intimacy so much more intoxicating and thrilling.

I press my body up against his, hot flesh against hot flesh and can already feel his hardness trying to escape from his trousers. It causes my centre to clench with need and I lose all self-restraint as I reach for his length, rubbing my hands over it through his trousers. 

His hips involuntarily jerk forward towards my hand that’s pressed against his crotch and it’s only seconds before I’m reaching for the waistband and discarding his trousers across the room. 

Both of us now stood in our underwear, our hands simply wrap around each other’s torsos and we hold each other tight and kiss with every ounce of passion we have for each other. 

It’s been so long since we’ve kissed, since we’ve touched each other like this but it feels as though it were only yesterday. Our bodies instinctively react to one another and meld together as one like they were made to be one. Two halves of a whole. 

He unhooks my bra and when my naked breasts are exposed he stares in awe before kissing them tenderly and licking around my hardened nipple. 

Placing his hands on my hips he guides me back to his bed and lies me down gently, so as to allow him more access to my body. Lying back on the soft mattress, he has access all areas and he runs his tongue up and down my body, whilst massaging my breasts. 

My eyes remain closed the entire time, soaking up every single ounce of pleasure. Damon never did this. Never took the time to worship my body and slowly build me up until I was writhing with need and practically begging for release like Stefan does. By now he would be relentlessly pounding away, minutes away from finishing, leaving me unsatisfied and empty. But he doesn’t know me like Stefan does and he never has. 

Stefan knows exactly where his mouth and hands should be at all times and although I know I should be making more of an effort to provide him with pleasure, I’ve missed this too much to do anything but lie back and let him have his way with me. 

He has worked me up so much that every nerve ending on my body is ultra-sensitive and reactive to every touch, no matter how brief or light. He plays particular attention to my breasts - a part of my body I know he’s always enjoyed and admired - his tongue circling my nipples, sucking on them and lightly nibbling them, his hands firmly massaging them, providing me with even more stimulation. 

When he moves up to kiss me our centres press together and though the material of our underwear separates our flesh, it causes a jolt to shoot through me. I involuntarily jerk up against his hardness, my body craving it. 

Even his kisses are arousing. The way he takes his time, pressing his puckered lips to mine with just the right amount of pressure, his tongue gently caressing mine at the perfect rhythm. It’s sensual, it’s passionate, it’s romantic and it’s honest. Even if he hasn’t said it, his kisses reveal just how deeply he desires and loves me. 

“Mmm, I’ve missed this,” I say. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.” 

He continues running his tongue over my upper body and I can’t help but wind my fingers through his hair and nudge his head further south, unable to ignore my body’s pleas for stimulation. 

He obliges and scatters kisses along my thighs, drawing ever closer to my damp centre. When he unexpectedly plants one hard kiss over my panties it causes all my resolve to evaporate and I start pulling at them, desperate to get them off. 

Stefan removes my hands and takes over, slowly gliding my underwear down my legs. I’m already so wet that just feeling the air against me causes me to feel pleasure. I look down to Stefan and he meets my eyes, his expression one of satisfaction and pride at seeing my already glistening folds.

I’ve gotten naked with Damon so many times, but as Stefan holds my gaze, nothing but admiration and adoration in his eyes, I realise this is the first time in years I’ve truly been naked with anyone in years. There are no walls anymore, no filter, no pretending or hiding. There’s just me and him exactly as we are.

Planting two final kisses to my inner thighs, Stefan finally presses his mouth to my centre with one gentle but firm kiss. I exhale deeply and my eyes fall closed once more as he continues to scatter kisses over my wet flesh. 

His tongue begins to probe my folds apart and the sensation of his soft but rough tongue on my engorged flesh is tantalising. As he lands on the erect bud of my clit, I lightly jerk from the sensitivity and he shifts away to give focus to the surrounding area, not wanting to bring me to orgasm just yet. 

As he sets his pace he nestles his face further into me and I can hear him inhaling deeply as though he’s attempting to absorb my scent. 

Whenever I’ve been in Stefan’s company since we split there’s been underlying tension and lingering emotions between us, but I never anticipated just how much I underestimated it. Not just with him, but even with myself. I didn’t realise how much I craved to have his hands and mouth on me like this, how incomplete I’ve felt not having him by my side and how empty I’ve been having gone so long without feeling him inside me. 

His tongue circles around my clit, only occasionally daring to flit over it, whilst his hands reach up to touch my breasts. 

“Stefan…” I breathe, unable to stand another second of this torture. 

I don’t have to say another word. The pressure of his tongue increases as does the speed and instead of merely swiping across my clit he lavishes it with attention.

The intensity triples immediately and I find myself winding my fingers into his hair to pull his face even closer, my hips gyrating against his mouth at an erratic rhythm. 

His hands cling firmly to my hips, his tongue so expert that his hands aren’t needed anywhere else to bring me to my peak. 

My stomach tightens and my breathing grows shallow, until all at once a sudden explosion occurs at my centre causing me to scream out in ecstasy. The pleasure ripples throughout my body in intense waves as Stefan shakes his head against my core, his nose further stimulating my already pulsating clit and I yank at his hair, my hips frantically canting as I ride out the orgasm, lapping up every last morsel. 

The moment I’ve returned from my high, I pull Stefan’s face up to mine and kiss him desperately, my tongue exploring his mouth hungrily, my teeth nibbling at his bottom lip, the taste of me all over him. God, I need him. I’ve got him but somehow I still need him. 

I rip his boxers down and toss them across the room. His cock is even harder than before and practically pulsating. I want to return the favour and ravish him with my mouth, giving him the kind of mind blowing orgasm he just gave me. But with my first orgasm, my patience has evaporated and I just want him inside me. 

“Do you want me to–?” 

Before I can finish my question, he’s on top of me, his hardness against my soaking and tender cunt. I wrap my arms tightly around his back pulling him into me so close that I can feel his heart beat crashing against my bare chest. We begin to slowly grind up and down, taking the time to relish in the simple intimacy of lying against each other utterly naked. 

He sweeps the hair that’s stuck to my brow away and meets my eyes. 

“God, I’ve missed you,” he mumbles in between kisses. 

“I’ve missed you too.” 

And I have. I’ve missed everything about him. Everything about us. 

I run my hands down his back and grab at his ass, pulling him into me and just as always he reads my cue perfectly. Reaching down for his length, he runs the tip of his cock around my folds. 

“Mmm,” I moan. 

I love cunnilingus as much as the next woman, but nothing can compare to feeling his most intimate area against mine. It causes my insides to clench with desperate need. 

With his intense green eyes locked on mine he searches my face and when I nod my head he slips inside me. I’m so wet that he glides in with ease and the second he fills me, I feel every broken fragment of my heart and soul come back together. 

Some part of us knows this is wrong - our hearts and loyalties are supposed to be with other people - but it’s not wrong. In fact, it’s the most right thing in the universe. 

Stefan, always the master at self-control seems to weaken immediately just at being inside me and leans forward, his face pressed into the crook of my neck light grunts coming from him. 

Our hips begin moving together, perfectly in sync and I cling to him, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if this is truly happening. I’m overwhelmed. It feels too surreal, as though I’m dreaming it and I never want to wake up. 

We’ve missed so much time together that neither of us is in a rush and we remain in one another’s arms, slowly moving against each other for countless minutes. 

Although I didn’t return the favour to Stefan orally, I’m determined to make it up to him and roll him over so that our positions are reversed. It catches him off guard and when I meet his eyes, I give him a seductive and lustful smile, letting him know what’s about to happen. 

With my palms pressed flat against his chest I begin to ride him. Just the fact that I’m now the one with the power seems to turn Stefan on immeasurably and he bites his bottom lip hard, his eyes fixated on my jiggling breasts and his fingers pinching at my nipples. 

The remnants of my first orgasm are still lingering and already I can feel the tightening in my abdomen building. With each thrust I angle myself so that Stefan’s tip is hitting the right spot and his agility and expertise means the force with which he thrusts is hard but at the same time loving. 

I continue grinding against him, leaning down and sucking at his collarbone and neck. The smell of his aftershave fills my nose and is intoxicating. He grabs my ass firmly, squeezing my buttocks and using his hands to guide my rhythm and bring me down onto him harder. 

He meets my eyes, as though he’s checking that what he’s doing is okay and I nod enthusiastically as he begins to pound into me harder. 

His usually pale complexion is starting to turn pink now and I can see the glistening of sweat on his brow. He’s clenching his teeth hard in an attempt to keep noises at a minimum to remain modest. 

I place my hand on his hot, sticky cheek and say, “Don’t. Don’t hold back.” 

He hears my words, nods and I immediately see him let go. His expression relaxes more showing the pleasure he’s feeling and he picks up speed, his grip on my ass tightening. 

I gasp with joy, loving to see him completely let go in the most natural way. I encourage him further with my own moans and thrusts, and he reacts to them exactly the way I want. 

His heavy breathing slowly turn to grunts and then groans, as I become so wet that it pools on his thighs. 

“Fuck,” he grunts through gritted teeth, spurring me on further. 

He looks up at me and then reaches out to stroke my dripping core. 

“Oh!” I cry out. 

His fingers massage me and I grind harder and faster needing more, more, more. 

Stefan knowing my body better than anyone else, soon moves his hand away knowing that my overstimulated clit needs time to breathe and turns his concentration back to his cock that is still working its way in and out of me at great speed. 

Still inside me, he sits up so that I’m on his lap and he presses his forehead to mine. We both stop moving for a moment as he says, “Together?” 

I nod excitedly and he kisses me deeply and fervidly, resuming his movements. With our hands wrapped around each other’s backs, my breasts squeezed against his chest and our heads resting together, our hips move in perfect sync. 

It’s slow and it’s sensual, our bodies so slick with sweat that we’re sticking together. I keep my eyes on his to ensure I’m in this moment with him. 

“I love you, Elena,” Stefan whispers breathlessly. “I’ve always loved you.” 

“I love you so much,” I cry. 

The emotional intensity of our words seems to push us over the edge and Stefan gasps, a loud moan ripping its way from his throat as his thighs stiffen and he bangs into me frantically. I can feel the pulsating of his cock inside me and witnessing his pleasure and feeling his hardness rock against my g-spot so fast means that it’s only seconds later that I reach my peak. 

The build-up being so much slower means the release is more intense and prolonged. It starts deep in my stomach and then suddenly erupts in a gush of liquid. Stefan reacts immediately and pulls out, frantically swishing the tip of his cock against my clit and unexpectedly sending another jolt of electricity through me and a second gush. It’s so powerful that my eyes rolls back into my head and I’m sure I’m seeing stars, as I lose all control of my body that frantically spasms, only held together by Stefan’s tight embrace. 

It takes me a couple of minutes to return to planet earth and when I do, Stefan is looking at me, a blissful smile on his face. 

“You’re beautiful,” he says, gently stroking my face. “You’re amazing.”

I giggle lightly, still breathless and completely exhausted. “You’re the amazing one.” 

We collapse onto the mattress, our limbs entwined, hearts joined as one and marked as each other’s for always. 

Stefan presses a kiss to my head and says, “I’m never letting you go ever again. I love you so much.”

I kiss him and reply with tears in my eyes, “It’s you and me. Always.”

The reality of our lives is something we’ll have to deal with eventually, but in this moment we can’t find the room to think about it. We’re so joyously happy, so in love and I know that whatever obstacles we face, we’ll overcome them. Our love is strong enough to overcome anything. It already has.


End file.
